Carcolepsy
Carcolepsy - a condition affecting buddies on a trip who fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving, providing no company or driving help.
Example - "Matt slept the whole way here, I think he suffers from carcolepsy."
It's real, the Urban Dictionary told me so and there's a meme about it. Also, I have photographic proof and witnesses that will definitely corroborate that this is a condition and the struggle is real.
I have the ability to fall asleep anywhere. Literally anywhere. But most predominantly in cars. It also seems to be a case of whenever I'm travelling to a wedding gig with Vocal Works Gospel Choir, a choir that I have been an active member of for over 10 years now and who are a 50-strong group of multiple faiths and backgrounds performing songs with soul and funk. Not only do we perform public gigs but there is a pro group who perform at weddings, funerals, corporate events and many other events. I've also had the incredible opportunities to sing alongside Susan Boyle, Kerry Ellis, The Heavy and Reef in their live tours!
As I said though, it seems to be journeys to and from these pro gigs that I have a sudden bout of Carcolepsy. It wouldn't matter that I'd had an extra shot in my coffee or had an amazing nights sleep, I would be guaranteed a visit from the Sandman as soon as we set off.
One particular case occurred when at a wedding in Scotland. We had to leave to catch the flight particularly early in the morning and I was working in a bar at the time. The wedding was on the Saturday and so I had worked the Friday night. Getting home from work at approximately 4am, I decided that sleep was out of the question as we had to leave again at 6am. I made a coffee and played some Xbox, (Arkham Knight to be precise), we headed out and I had a snooze in the car all the way to the airport. I had a slight nap on the plane as well but it wasn't enough to really satiate my need for a decent nights sleep. When we arrived at the venue, we performed for the ceremony and then headed to the hotel where the reception would be taking place. We were watered and fed and we performed for the guests who were celebrating the marriage of their friends or family. Once we had finished, I took a seat in the corner and got chatting to one of my dear friends, Bindy. Mid conversation though, she said something and I laughed but fell asleep. Like, actually fell asleep mid laugh! My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull and my head flopped backwards before I jolted back to life to see Bindy wetting herself with laughter and disbelief at what had just happened. Obviously the fact I hadn't slept didn't help but I have never fallen asleep mid conversation.
Another time was in a pub, we were waiting to record in a studio nearby but the power had gone so we had to wait it out in the local. Apparently this was all too much for me. Needless to say, the rest of the gang had other ideas and found a handy deck of cards...
Christmas is always a tradition best spent with friends and family but who needs enemies when you've got friends like mine? Hilarious friends though they are, they're never ones to shy away from exploiting my deep slumbering antics as seen here:
Every time I have succumbed to the Carcolepsy, you can guarantee a camera is never too far away. I've even befallen victim to having a moustache drawn on my face, (the lesser of the evil things that could have been drawn i suppose), en route from a gig and when I was debating as to leave the car to get a drink from the service station, everyone in the car just smirked and told me I probably should. I decided against it however but still didn't realise the entire journey home until I headed to the bathroom and caught myself in the mirror. Upon smiling and shouting, "How long has that been there?!" I heard the howls coming from outside the toilet, the familiar roar from Bindy as she couldn't believe it had taken me that long to notice it.
As hilarious as this all is though and it's become a long standing theme of people watching out to see when I'm snoozing so that they can get a quick snap of my gormless features and awkward positions, it does have a serious root cause. Diabetes. Yes, that old friend of mine that causes so many of my ill fated mishaps also causes me to fall asleep, a lot. However, I discovered this was the cause after seeing my new specialist team and being asked the question, "With sugar levels as high as yours, how do you stay awake?", I replied with a mix of caffeine and I don't really know. Not knowing that when my body has too much sugar to break down, it will essentially shut off for a bit to burn it off in order to function properly again. Almost like performing a hard restart when your iPhone starts to lag a bit due to the amount of apps you have open. I tend to not have this trouble anymore , thankfully but it does occasionally strike and when it does, I can always expect a surprise photo or two to crop up on social media. Here is a slideshow to give a gist of the struggles even a simple car journey can present:
Thanks for reading,
Matt.