Hyperhydrosis: A Sweaty Story
It’s that time of year again. But this year the weather is comparable to Spain or Mad Max. Cocktails in the sun, pub gardens, BBQs, trips to the beach, chants of "It's Comin' Home" and backsweat. Yup, that dreaded moment you greet a friend and they go for a hug but before you can warn them, they’ve already clutched at the damp fabric clinging to your back like wet tissue thrown at a ceiling. Their face recoils in disgust and they look at their palm the same way you’d imagine someone to do had they held a handrail in the dark and discovered something other than metal greeting their grasp, (another story for another day).
Hyde Park, July 2018
Well, let me tell you, you’ve not experienced backsweat until you’ve experienced hyperhydrosis. Oh yes, one more thing to add to the list of tagalong ailments enjoying a free ride off the back of my diabetes. Damn freeloaders. Basically, this non threatening but highly uncomfortable little bastard means I sweat from a very specific part of the body way more than anywhere else and it doesn’t even need to be warm to do so. For some people it’s the face, others it’s their arms, for me it’s my back and not just a part of my back, no, the whole damn thing. It couldn’t have been something like the back of my knees or my left foot could it. No, it had to be the whole of my back. This means that in the slightest of temperature rises, any top I’m wearing becomes grotesquely soaked within moments. This can also be aggravated by stress so the second I become paranoid about the problem it just gets way worse, thanks body. Anyone who knows me or has met me in a slightly warm circumstance will know exactly what I’m talking about because it’s not subtle. For work, I sometimes have to wear a suit. The other day I sweated through the shirt AND the jacket. It was like I was channeling my inner Lee Evans. It can become so bad that the tops of whatever trousers/jeans/shorts I’m wearing also become soaked. I know, a sweaty back is hardly something to write home about but wait until you see the pictures...
Below are two images of my hyperhydrosis after being SAT DOWN for an hour in warm conditions.
Once I realised that sweatyback is something everybody gets, it did ease the social discomfort I felt but I’m still not ready to take off my backpack in public for all to see the resulting torrential aftermath. You’d be forgiven if you assumed I’d been lying down in a puddle. One precaution I have to take is making sure I carry a spare t-shirt with me or a small hand towel, even wearing an extra layer under my top. Weird right? Not so, during my time in Egypt, especially the hotter months, the staff there would be wearing vests under their shirts. All I wanted to do was remove all clothing as it was 45 degrees at the height of the day. I asked why this was the case and Samir, a bartender there explained that the extra layer collects the sweat resulting in less of it going through to the outer layer. Genius. So yes, I own vests, for purely scientific reasons of course.
So today, as I write this, sat aboard the northern line. Sweltering because apparently the underground here in London was built on top of Satan’s boiler room. I’m already concerned that my t-shirt probably looks like I’ve got it straight out of the washing machine and I’ve only been wearing it for half an hour.
Anyway, towel and tee in my bag, I’m sure it’ll be fine and I'm not complaining about this glorious heat either.
Just another day in the life of me! Woohoo!
Thanks for reading, be sure to check out my other blogs.
Matt Knowles.
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